One of my worst 11 hours flights so far!

I have to be more damn strict with my boarding tickets as my heart feels a bit torn because I can’t sit next to my love and worse thing is, it will be like this for the next 11 hours!!

This makes me realize how much I truly can’t be without this person even for a second. Even in my dreams he visits me and protects me. Damn. This person makes me so crazy for him, I can’t even be 2 seats apart from him without sobbing!

I know I’m not the only one to blame for the inconvenience, but I can’t help but feel sadness and anger. During moments like these I just feel an unusual feeling of being far away from home.

Damn. I must love this person so damn much. I’m more than ‘addicted’ to his presence, my body and mind urge his love. What kind of charm did he put on me?

At the moment, I’m leaving the heat of Thailand. I can’t wait to be back home in Sweden. I’m honestly a bit tired of all these travels, ESPECIALLY those without my baby.

After Sweden we travel back to Austria. I want to go to our apartment in Vienna and rest. And I want to start working more hours so I can support my mom… The thing is, as it became quite spontaneous, mom decided to stay in Thailand for the reason to heal with the hopes of massage therapy – hopefully she’ll gain some movements in her left arm and leg again.

Another big news is that I finally told mom about my engagement… I’ve been too afraid and selfish to tell my parents about it, because mom got married to my biological dad when they were young… and my dad was an asshole and left us (during poverty), so I was scared she’ll be unhappy about my engagement.

So.. yes.. I’ve been secretly engaged to my fiancé ever since valentines day 2017. Most people don’t know about it because I was too selfish and scared – but mostly I was tired of people asking and damning my relationship because of the distance problem me and my love had to endure back then.

I wish words didn’t stick to me that easily, sadly I know it does.

However, I’m omw home to Sweden now, and I really really hope this flight will be quick because it’s unpleasant. I hope you have better luck than me today. See you later, hugs!


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